Why I am not Happy?
Colonel A Sridharan, VSM
Founder & MD – CovaiCare
Is life so boring that in our pursuit of things material, have we lost focus in enjoying what life has to offer? It is true that we are in a rat race in a mad world, where we relate everything to money earned, spent and saved.
Happiness is a state of mind. If that be so, why life is losing its meaning and we are not able to find joy in what we have?
Negative thinking is what we let our mind to wander into. Self-belief is now replaced by your wanting to please others and to make them happy. Add to this the selfish attitude that we have developed in pursuit of our material satisfaction and derivation of happiness, we end up unhappy. And any happiness found through material satisfaction is momentary. Our wants in life are never ending.
I, Me, Myself:
Who is the cause for this confusion? We, us and more importantly I. The word written in Capital always is I and it signifies “arrogance” or agankar”. Replace it with small i and say we and us instead of me and I – you will see the change in our attitude. Ultimately it is all about one’s attitude – positive attitude brings positivity and, negative attitude brings negativity, jealousy and frustrations.
I heard Swamy Gaur Gopal Das Prabhuji at IGBC World Congress at Hyderabad. It was a remarkable talk and each time I hear him I get clarity in life. He is indeed an exceptional motivational Monk – I am one of the 5 million followers of his on You Tube.
In the society that we live, we have lost values, which are replaced by greed. “Yeh Dil Maange More” is the mantra. Means do not matter but the end does. How then do we live to find happiness through conversation, our lifestyles which we do not like but adopt to be accepted by Jonases around us, live in fear of rejection and a make belief world of digital socializing which we carry to our bed and the sofa as well as dining table. And if we accept that this is our own creation, then why lament and not enjoy life?
i derive pleasure by giving. i find joy and satisfaction not based on expectation from others but in trying to live selfless and not, a selfish life. i have stopped looking for meanings in life but live my life which is to be meaningful – not for me but for others. I do not succeed always but i seem to find happiness – i laugh, joke around, be concerned, give what i can, talk (perhaps more than necessary!) and accept rejection because i cannot please all in this world.
Pursuit of Happiness:
So, we need to make our own path for remaining happy and live without expectations. If your husband does not like to converse with you, either accept him or leave him – too drastic a remedy.
But then we do not marry to divorce. We marry to share one another in joy and sorrow. In that pursuit of happiness we need to accept imperfections. Perfect life would be too boring.